too bad you live with your parents still
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
