I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
