oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
