I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
