she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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