Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
