Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
COCAINE IS GR8
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize