i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
