I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
