What a fucking waste of an outfit
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
