i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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