Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
