so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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