As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
