Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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