I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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