Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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