She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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