I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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