remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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