Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
