Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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