im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
