I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i dont even know how to be here
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm like, not good at living.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize