my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I love having hate sex.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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