i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
