wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
