dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
