Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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