I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
