Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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