is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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