So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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