dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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