Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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