Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
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I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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