Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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