I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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