you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Life without a bra equals bliss.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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