Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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