Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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