everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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