omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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