Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
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Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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