Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
