after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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