No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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