He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
This girl is more easily done than said...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
