Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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