4 words: hood of his car
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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