I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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