I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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