He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
