How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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