And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
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I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
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He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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