the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
