I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
