Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
