I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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